TOUCH MY COFFEE AND I WILL SLAP YOU SO HARD
(For people who run on caffeine, chaos, and zero tolerance before 9 AM)
This tee says what your morning face is already screaming. It’s bold, comfy, and just threatening enough to keep everyone at a safe distance until you’re at least two sips in.
☕ Heavyweight Cotton Fabric
Strong enough to survive Monday mornings, espresso spills, and rage-fueled meetings
🧍 Classic Fit
Not too tight, not too loose — just enough space for all your pent-up caffeine-powered judgment
🛋️ Relaxed Style
Perfect for lounging, lurking, or issuing passive-aggressive warnings at the office
✂️ Seamless Double-Needle Collar
Sits smoothly, even when your blood pressure spikes from decaf drama
🧵 Double-Needle Sleeves and Bottom Hems
Durable enough to throw hands… or at least dramatically wave them
🧠 Taped Neck and Shoulders
Keeps its shape even when you don’t
🎨 Fabrication Options
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Solid Colors: 100% preshrunk cotton that won’t shrink — unlike your patience
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Ash Grey: 99% combed cotton, 1% polyester — mellow look, murderous vibe
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Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester — sporty, but still full of rage
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Heather Colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester — for the soft-looking, slap-ready type
